Salaam Friends!

How are we finding your hearts this week?

We were scouring Reddit and came across a few threads expressing a fairly strong disconnect from salah.

Disclaimer: We [i.e. humans!] often write from questions we don't feel safe asking out loud. And then sometimes, these questions surface anonymously because they feel shameful. It's important for Minara to be this space that addresses the questions that feel somewhat stained or even sinful. It’s safe to express the theology, the certainties, all the easy ‘normal’ things people struggle with. But there is another type of normal too that feels scary to first acknowledge then address. And these kinds of conversations are probably even more important because it is with this kind of honesty that ensures we don’t isolate these secrets from the trajectory of our faith, our relationship with salah and of course our connection with Allah.

We want to maintain the privacy of the profiles of the writers but to sum it up, these are some of the candied truths being shared:

These are difficult to answer - there’s no doubt about it. We’ve been racking our brains while applauding the candidness because expressing strong sentiments like the above does the opposite of disqualifying one from feeling worthy as a Muslim. Actually, they’re markers of one taking their relationship with Allah seriously and alhamdulillah that is commendable 💜

So we’ve had a long, raw, honest think about what constitutes a worthy reply. And this is the break-down so far:

What would a friend say to a friend keeping all of the above in mind?

Let’s chat about it💜💜

Bismillah…

Salah is something that is uniquely yours. We read somewhere, somebody used the word monogamous to describe their salah and now we’re borrowing that word. No one needs to know a thing about your salah except Allah and beyond that - on your own terms. Building a comprehensible, coherent connection with Allah, again on your own terms, is the only right step.

Ok so, let’s start with the idea of connection first - connecting with Allah via salah and of course one’s connection with salah itself.

We really want to think about the terminology here because we don’t always feel connected in salah. Perfectly natural - we’re sure we all feel it in the different stages of our salah practice right?

So maybe salah isn’t always about feeling connected, but it is about staying tethered. Like a rope you keep a hold of even when your hands start feeling numb. Though you can’t feel anything - the emotion isn’t there - the rope still keeps you attached to your salah and so the value still retains its significance.

And - one could argue - tethered is a kind of connection too!

And a second truth is that our five daily salah don’t always feel ‘flowy’ or ‘poetic’. Salah is meant to interrupt the day because that’s what it is designed to do: gently or awkwardly. Not everyone experiences that interruption as peaceful.

We’re allowed to be Muslim without feeling spiritually high all the time. We’re allowed to study, love the ethics, live the values, struggle with the rituals and still be sincere. Faith is never sustained by excitement - heck, nothing is! Faith is sustained by remaining tethered. Raw, bleeding, heavy and disheartened.

With this honesty in mind, let’s talk the practicalities.

Can we stress the importance of wudu enough? Nope! A distraction free, visualised wudu as poseur as that sounds! Knowing the thought of reading salah is causing some anxiety, use the time before it i.e. during wudu to calm you down and focus on the movements of the ritual instead. Let the cold water clean off your worries, regrets, mistakes and stress.

When you get to salah itself, focus on the fact that you will be reading [or listening to] Allah’s divine words. The only words in the world which transcend physical meaning. Dwell on the sounds and bring attention to the physical sensations of standing, bowing and prostrating. If any of us were to dig a little deeper, we would a hundred percent find physical evidence of divine healings effects caused my the sounds and vibrations emitted the recitation of the noble Qur’an.

A third practice is to allow yourself more time in sujood whenever you can. Sajdah is the most vulnerable position of the body where blood rushes to to the head. Speak to Allah here: say what you want, what you need to - whatever you need to. Anger, frustration, exhaustion, plea for help, more anger. Say it all. Who knows what wonders doing this just once a day, in one sujood of any of your salah can do for your heart and soul?

Finally - and this is important- lower the bar. Not every salah needs to feel focused, spiritual or transformative. Hey, maybe none of them have to for now. None of this negates the actual practice of salah. A short, distracted prayer is admittedly better than waiting for the "right" emotional state that feels like it will never come.

Actually - sorry! - this is the finally we’re finalising with:

“Don’t forget that our body mind and consciousness need to talk and have their own languages. Maybe your body connects but your mind isn't aware of it. Maybe just meditate while your body prostrates.”

^{[credit: fashaoA on Reddit]}

Presence often precedes understanding.

We love this message - we assume that if our mind isn't focused, reflective, or emotionally engaged, then nothing meaningful is happening. But the mind isn’t the sole site of faith. In fact, Islam has always involved the body - standing, bowing prostrating - as a language in its own right. So this reframing is liberating. For those of us who are struggling with distraction, trauma, anxiety or a spell [long as it may be] of spiritual dryness, this removes a huge amount of shame. We can preserve the meaning of salah without romanticising it. And of course, this reflects how humans actually work. We already accept in other habits, traditions and memories that the body remembers before the mind does, that habits shape belief and repetition forms attachment. Human psychology 101 right here!

Guess what friend: you can stay in prayer without first having to prove to yourself your feeling the 'right' thing.

If any of this felt a little bit uncomfortably familiar then hit our poll right here to show even just one more person, they aren’t alone 💛.

“Your Lord has not forsaken you, nor has He become displeased.”

^{[Qur'an 93:3]}

Wishing you a very blessed week ahead 🩵.

Love and du’as,

The Minara Team